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  • Jack 11:04 pm on December 28, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: joke   

    Miri Community 

    Miri is my hometown and the community I grew up in can only be best described in a light bulb joke based on the latest Mirian population of 278,400:

    Question: How many Mirians does it take to change a light bulb?

    Answer:

    • 139,200 will be in an isolated place without any Internet connection to take notice of this.
    • 200 will quickly make a posting in MiriCommunity.net Feedback For Our Miri City forum in hoping for an answer.
    • 1,000 will mistakenly post the same question in the Classifieds forum.
    • 100 will have their posting removed because didn’t read for any existing topic with the same content.
    • 500 will be hijacking other topics to ask the same question.
    • 50,000 will be too busy queuing up to buy lottery to take notice of this.
    • 10,000 will be caught in jams at Pujut Roundabout while trying to read the progress of bulb change using their mobile phone.
    • 2,345 will be slowly driving their car on the right lane of the 2-way highway while thinking about this question.
    • 20,000 will be slowing down their cars just to see an accident by the roadside in hoping to spot the car plate number for today’s lottery.
    • 6,000 in the oil & gas industry will be working offshore and surfing to MiriCommunity.net observing the same topic being asked over and over again with no serious answers.
    • 1,000 will start and rev their heavily modded cars with all the bells & whistles just to switch on the headlights to assist with the light bulb change somewhere.
    • 200 will close their browsers and turn on their online game to kill time while waiting for someone else to do the job.
    • 345 will stand close to take multiple pictures of the light bulb in macro mode in the dark and use Photoshop to adjust the brightness later.
    • 200 will take pictures of the light bulb 1 kilometer away using their DSLR equipped with telescoping lens and thinking how much closer they could have zoomed-in if they have spent a little bit more on a better telescoping lens.
    • 500 will be getting hungry just by the thought of the task, and look-up MakanManiacs.com to find which other restaurant they haven’t tried yet.
    • 40 will be hungry too but pretending to ask on behalf of their friends what restaurant is new in town.
    • 700 will take the opportunity to ask why is the seahorse the mascot of Miri after spending too much time in the crawling jam from the North to the South of Miri everyday.
    • 15,000 will realize that the pink flowers by the road side are called Periwinkle when their 4WD ran over them while overtaking cars using the shoulder of the road in heavy jam caused by either JPJ or Traffic Police.
    • 5,430 will pick up their mobile phone and call someone to ask about the procedure to change light bulb while taking notice that it has past 1 month and time to change a new phone.
    • 50 will be asking those jogging beside them at Taman Bulatan, Taman Awam, or along Piasau Camp which type of energy saving bulb should they use instead because of the high electricity bills they are getting.
    • 200 will be making Classifieds posting in MiriCommunity.net to sell cheap energy saving bulbs from China.
    • 400 will take the opportunity to go out and gather with Mat Rempit at Lutong Airstrip to release stress from the question.
    • 100 will be thinking whether there are energy saving lamps/LEDs for their RC cars, helicopters, and airplanes.
    • 20 will be registering in miricom using blub related usernames, and create referral links to tell people to make money online.
    • 2,000 will be complaining that Streamyx sucks as well as the blown bulb, but still not dare to potong.
    • 300 will be wondering whether the bulb could have caused their Celcom Broadband line to drop.
    • 500 will be complaining & agreeing with each other in miricom that the light bulb needs changing.
    • 20 will make a project out of this to change out all light bulbs in Miri and silently release for favorite contractors to tender.
    • 50 will be talking to local news reporters on how they have planned this great project for them to publish in the newspapers tomorrow.
    • 2,000 will be speculating that changing the light bulb is a conspiracy theory orchestrated by some powerful people to divert attention from the troubles in the jungle.
    • 700 will be displaying old & used parking coupons when they park their cars to buy light bulb.
    • 50 will be practicing their negotiating skills with the authorities when caught without their safety belt on while speeding to get the light bulb changed.
    • 200 will be chatting in old coffee shops about this issue.
    • 400 will be eavesdropping in old coffee shops and start telling others that they themselves have changed the light bulb.
    • 20,000 will be flocking to newly opened franchise restaurants and complain that they can change the light bulb faster than the waiter can serve.
    • 1,000 will be seen exercising in gym or go out cycling to get into shape so they could climb the ladder in full grace.
    • 4,000 will be inviting those tired of planning the task a quick getaway to local disco & kareoke bars before coming back and then forget to change the light bulb.
    • 900 will be trying to convince expats that changing a light bulb is much more interesting than solving the mystery of asking a local girl out for a date.
    • 300 will be thinking that the government could have done a better job to ensure that we don’t need to be changing light bulbs.
    • 450 will still be telling people in West Malaysia that our tree house still needs to have the eco-friendly light bulbs changed.
    • 12,000 will be complaining that their salary is low and they have to work on Saturdays so they need a break from all of this.
    • 50,000 will be switching on their c-band parabolic dish to watch free TV channels instead.
    • 3,000 will be talking about this over a mahjong/cards/holo table trying to take their minds off their losing streak.
    • 8,000 will be taking their partner/family to shopping malls looking for a light bulb in the wrong section, and rummaging through their deck of cards to find the correct member card when paying.
    • 50 will be asking for refund on the faulty bulb, but to find out in the end that there is no such thing as refund here in Miri.
    • 100 will either be blaming the council for lack of care or the people for vandalism of lamps in this resort city.
    • 5,000 will be setting up a makeshift platform for the blub change because they were once a crew on platforms or rigs in the oil & gas industry.
    • 2,000 will be assessing the safety aspect of the job because there are not enough HSE jobs in Miri.
    • 2 will be holding the step-ladder while staring at their mobile phone to SMS/MMS/Camwhore.
    • 1 will be standing on the ladder changing the bulb because it is worth the risk after borrowing a huge sum of money from ah longs, or their girlfriends/boyfriends have dumped them, or they are caught on camera with China Dolls, or they are in a notorious video currently circulating in the Internet or mobile phones.

    Disclaimer: This is just a joke from my own limited observation. No harm intended in case you choked or get offended. :-)

     
    • carol 9:27 am on January 12, 2010 Permalink

      haha…some are true tho’ ;)

  • Jack 11:17 pm on November 27, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    Baby Ash 

    Managed to find time out of my hectic work schedule to share a little piece of wonderful news with everyone which happened to me on the 5th November 2009 – I’m a father now! I can still remember the day before it happened: coordinating my support team (close friends & family members), getting tickets on the very last minute, wonderful colleagues backing me up while I prepare my handovers, and at the same time wrap up on my work before leaving. Along the journey back to Miri, there I was moving through the crowd with countless thoughts blazing through my mind in excitement without paying much attention to the blurred surroundings as I switch to travel mode. It was only when I touchdown at Miri Airport that afternoon, I felt my feet planted into comfortable & familiar grounds again. With full determination, I push my way to Ryna somewhere at the General Hospital.

    As I walked into the room where they told me Ryna would be, there she was on the bed – with a smile beaming across the room and literally lit up the place as she holds Baby Ash in her arms. I don’t know how to express this in words but it’s exactly as what they said – a very uplifting and great feeling to be a daddy. :-)

    Day 1: A bundle of joy with a baby tag.
    Day 1: Baby Tag

    Day 1: Ryna’s gaze of fascination daze.
    Day 1: A new mum in da house.

    As I sat on the side of the bed with both Ryna and Baby Ash, it was as if all the worries and problems in the world ceased to exist. All that matters the most is the little fragile angel resting in our arms. With the hard part over marking the closure of the only-me-and-you-in-this-small-family, it is time to take a quick and much needed rest before we tackle the next stage in life together – parenthood.

    Day 2: It wasn’t a dream after all.
    Day 2: It wasn't a dream after all.

    Day 2: Baby Ash in sleeping mode.
    Day 2: Baby Ash in sleeping mode.

    Day 3: Inik giving Baby Ash her first bath at home.
    Day 3: Inik giving Baby Ash her first bath at home.

    Day 4: Photo theraphy for minor Jaundice – no, it’s not about working on Baby Ash’s tan.
    Day 4: Photo theraphy for minor Jaundice

    Day 4: The “tanning booth”.
    Day 4: The "tanning booth".

    Day 5: Baby Ash taking a break from photo theraphy and without the eye-protectors.
    Day 5: Baby Ash taking a break from photo theraphy and without the eye-protectors.

    Day 10: My girls gets discharged from Hospital.
    Day 10: My girls gets discharged from Hospital.

    Day 10: Baby Ash back at home again.
    Day 10: Baby Ash back at home again.

    Day 15: A visit by Poh-Poh and Er-Ku.
    Day 15: A visit by Poh-Poh and Er-Ku.

    Day 16: Baby Ash learning new sleeping position.
    Day 16: Baby Ash learning new sleeping position.

    Day 16: Er-Ku, Poh-Poh, Ta-Ku came for a visit.
    Day 16: Er-Ku, Poh-Poh, Ta-Ku came for a visit.

    After days of unending hectic, it was great to finally get some rest in the night and waking up the following morning in anticipation of doing it all over again until the new parenthood rhythm sets in and we learn to optimize each tasks to make each available minutes count so we could steal some quiet moments with Baby Ash. :-)

    Finally, an opportunity to sleep.

     
    • roy 12:28 am on November 28, 2009 Permalink

      congrats jack. welcome on board to fatherhood!

    • Jack 12:36 am on November 28, 2009 Permalink

      Thanks for the warm welcome Roy. Nice to hear from you again my fellow daddy. :-)

    • ieR 3:47 am on November 28, 2009 Permalink

      congrats jack.

    • cync 3:10 pm on November 28, 2009 Permalink

      congrats! baby ash gonna be pretty and smart girl! cheers~

    • cync 3:11 pm on November 28, 2009 Permalink

      baby ash* hehe was too excited for you. cheers~

  • Jack 7:40 pm on October 3, 2009 Permalink | Reply  

    GSF Rig 136 

    The GSF Rig 136 came alongside Kuantan Port Consortium in Kuantan on the 25th September 2009 and I had the honor of being in the team which will coordinate the logistics for the cold-stacking process. What is going to happen is the rig will have all of its equipment preserved and/or moved to storage after which the rig itself will be moved to a permanent parking location where it will shutdown – till the next available contract.


    View Transocean Drilling in a larger map

     
  • Jack 12:01 am on July 19, 2009 Permalink | Reply
    Tags: document management, engineering, mediawiki, sealink international berhad, shipbuilding, Wiki   

    Shipbuilding and Wiki 

    Having left the shipbuilding industry, I suppose the knowledge is worth sharing with anyone in searching to find the best solution to their existing problem when it comes to managing their engineering documents.

    Problem: Important electronic documents were everywhere in the adopted & managed communication methods – email attachments, thumbdrive, portable HDD, CDs, DVDs, and sometimes in file transfer via IM.  Hardcopy documents (e.g. test certificates, class approved drawings, equipment manuals, design specifications, etc) were either neatly organized and stored in a central library, or lost in someone’s cubicle.  Besides that, there are the revised documents that needs to be tracked, controlled, and issued on a timely manner in order to meet progress milestones.

    Solution: A simple webserver (XAMPP) running on a Windows XP Professional box, a free & open source wiki (Mediawiki), a wiki administrator & a couple of trained staffs in the document control department, a dedicated and official email address to receive these electronic documents, the design team ensures these documents are checked before passing it onto the wiki administrator, and a simple procedural rule:  that anything on the wiki is the approved and the latest.

    Result: A streamlined central repository where the Management, Project and Design Team of the public listed Sealink International Berhad were able to boost efficiency all the while creating more headroom for productivity.

    Here are some screen captures of the SealinkWiki (the document controlling system) which I’ve cracked my head for months before it became the backbone of the engineering team:

    Project References:

    http://www.mediawiki.org/wiki/Sites_using_MediaWiki/corporate

     
    • xander 3:14 am on July 19, 2009 Permalink

      hmm, u’re previously in sealink? now they’re in need of a new IT guy… and r really desperate… offering me quite a good remuneration… but im in brunei working rite now… not really sure if it’s a good idea to go for sealink… any suggestions?

    • Jack 11:45 pm on July 19, 2009 Permalink

      Well, it all depends on where you want to take your career in the IT industry. Different people have different luck in different company. My background is originally IT and I’m more interested in systems engineering and analysis. If you know what you want, then best to find out the job scope in detail to see whether it fits your career plan.

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